I.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I've had previous cases of insomnia, very bad cases where I would survive weeks on 30 minutes of sleep. I was sleeping well a little bit ago. I don't know why. I'd get a healthy 8 hour rest without being disturbed in the middle of the night.

Recently, I've been having more nightmares again. That's why I was an insomniac before, the nightmares are terrible. I'd be so afraid to sleep.

The past 3 days I've only gotten about 4 hours of sleep. The bloodshot raccoon eyes are setting in, my body is dragging, my mind can't stay focused and I ramble incoherently about absolutely nothing to anyone who'll listen.

I feel bad for my friends the most, for having to put up with me and still being able to smile.

I have all this noise in my head, I try to drown it out with music, TV, both at the same time.

My family is worried about my health. Constant headache that never goes away, migraines, an assortment of other illnesses. I'm tired of doctors. I've been seeing doctors since I was 5. My file is so large a bystander would think it were a joke.

I've been throwing myself into scripting lately, as some of you might tell. I've changed the layout of my blog...Again. A friend said I was losing my edge. The floral thing is not my style, even though it looks nice. Maybe I'll change it again. At least change the color scheme. It gives me something to focus on, so I don't act so retarded around my friends. L understands and has seen me at my very worse. But J, I want to make a good impression with him. I want him to only see the best of me.

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. ~Elbert Hubard